Competition Fabricating No2-Part1

 Greetings...Alb here, What's buzzin' you may well ask! Right here goes..For starters I haven't heard anything more about the Brexit Sausage War lately. Maybe it's been silently resolved?  Aye, sounds about reet. Stealth sausage agreement. Blighty can now only export 'Linda McCartney quorn options.. What about Covid19? Well....the meme here in Blighty seems to be, 'Get Jabbed and then its 'Mingletastic-time'... Get down to 'Spoons' take a few deep breaths and see if the vaccine has really created immortality.  Hang on!!  Here in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' a rather more cautious approach is operating. Very small mingles, then at least 2-3 weeks self isolation before considering another small mingle. ... Big mingles out of the question!!!!! (and only Old English Pork Bangers in the breakfast buttie)

Self isolation - Best done in a shed is my recommendation. Doing it in the company of a CZ has got to be one of lifes bestest experiences.

Here goes then - Gonna make me another special competition part. A high level exhaust. Last thing I need when squirting this lively Blauwe Muis motorcycle through the muddy fields of Flanders is to rip the muffler off by getting tangled in a patch of nettles..

Purchased from China via ebay a  'Motorcycle 45mm I.D. Exhaust pipe Muffler Silencer Expansion DB Killer Chamber. "Holy Dookin massive power increase Batman!" What can possibly go wrong?

Here's a couple of diagrams from the advertisement showing the dimensions and 'Working Scrinciple'    

'Working Scrinciple?'  Velly velly vell design givee maxeee revee when fitee honourable C.Z.eeee. The 45mm dia inlet and outlet was as near a match to the C.Z. pipe size of 42mm I could get.

Second purchase was a 304 stainless bend - 41.3mm OD X 1.5mm wall x 61.9mm (1.5D) CLR This also from ebay but UK supplier 'Tubebender'  The size again was as near to the C.Z. original front pipe diameter as I could find. I did also spot on the afore mentioned Ebay an 'Exhaust Pipe Expander' Yowzah!!! How timely, just as I need one, there it is available for good pricey...£18!!! All in inc post. Like a gift from the gods. Buy! Buy! Buy it now!!!!

So lets have a small interlude as many parcels of vital race components start heading towards 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' from all corners of the globe. Whilst they do, it's time for an official beer break....as many as ya like 'cos the postman may be some days.

Post Brexit EU option -  Plant based Sausage with additional 'Garlic Skins' and 'Vine Stalks' anybody? 

 

Just joking -   Stay safe- Help out - Only eat the meaty ones. 

 

Competition Fabricating No1-Part3

 Today - My bonce once again sticks up above the parapet.... well more like scraping a hole through the cobwebs that block a good amount of light from entering so my mincers can see oot of 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'.....What's 'appening in the real outside world of nastiness? Anyone seen a post Brexit sausage lately?... Phufff, ya couldn't write an 'Ernie Wise Play' any more bloody ridiculous than 'this blog wot I will wrote' or 'may wrote' as I update my bashplate shenanigans. The sausage war continues.....Boy Oh Boy That saucepot V.D.L. likes to get the most out of her British Sausages ........But then who wouldn't'  (No end play yet....Mustard and Relish still both on the table)

So, I left you on my last jotting with concerns about the splatter.....(plenty of it) .the tensile strength of mismatched stainless grades.....questionable manufacturing techniques......Have no fear!!! "Tis I" Thee Mastercraftsman of Blacksmiffing.......Hammer, weld, file, grind. Eventually it will shape...

How to clamp the Bashplate to the frame? Interesting conundrum. The front mount is already constructed. I made that out of stainess offcut the same thickness as the Bashplate. Luckily the wise designers of the Blauwe Muis knew a thing or two about keeping it simples.....The frame tubes were a standard 25mm. I purchased off the 'Bay of E' 2 x hydraulic pipe clamps. 'Stauff Style' according to the purchase order....Thank Fook they weren't Papa Smuff Style.

Relying on my pinpoint positioning aids....rack of the eye and a scratchy nail I marked and drilled holes to suit both frame and plate position....Replacing the supplied bolts with brand new countersunk Stainless Allen Head screws gave a smooth underdrawing... and should the bike end upside down at some point in the Butterwoods of Flanders the shiny stainless will give additional Bling points too.....

 

Fits nicely just in front of the centre stand.....phew!  Like it was meant to be!!!!

After all that de-burring and filing on the outer side to make look a likkle bit pretty (but not too much) I'm thinking a flagon of 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' homebrew is gonna be well earned....

So, bottoms up...Cheers!! to the Flanders Butterwoods.....Cheers!! to the British Sausage.....and especially Cheers!! to whoever invented 'Toad in the Hole' ..

 

 

Stay safe....play at home. That Covid19 stuff is still out there. 

Believe Boris or believe Albert..you decide, it's your life!!!

Competition Fabricating No1-Part2

 Albert here.....progress update on the bash plate. Hang on!!!!What happened in the sausage war? Ah, the old ongoing Brexit fisty-cuffs. As of today absolutely nuffin. We have an extension, a sausage truce, the sausage story gonna go on for another 12 weeks so eat sausage wherever you are!! It may be your last!

The bash plate has been welded along the folding creases. Plenty of splatter, but plenty of penetration too. Not knowing much about the specification of stainless wire this 'Government stock item' hasn't altered the fact it was all I had and I was going to use it anyway. Believe it was a 304 grade.The scrap plate unknown.

Regarding the size, I haven't trimmed it by 1mm....  proper destiny that it could well fit like a glove after this afternoons spot of shed engineering...Wow, scary....

So...I'm 1 x step nearer to smashing a Belgium hillock to pieces...Time to celebrate with a flagon or 2 of ale....my best homebrew ale 'cos it's well deserved. 

Remember - Stay safe -and keep tuned for more sausage...

Competition Fabricating No1-Part1

 Aye up! Albert here. Yep, I'm still surviving the complications of a modern world. Deadly Covid19 plagues now heading in from India (now on Super Delta variant and counting) and comical political garbage fisty cuffs from both sides of the channel continuing to knock the will to live out of those few that take note.. and those who unfortunately catch a stray megabyte whilst logging into this blog. Luckily the anti-bullsh#t force field around 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' repels 99% of anything that's not got common sense spelt through it. It's business as usual you will be glad to know. Filing, grinding, welding, electo derusting and plating, wheel building, spray painting, engine tuning....hang on, hang on....enough!

Bad news...looking like the opportunity to ride the deep mud of Flanders on the 'Blauwe Muis' is continuing to ebb further and further into the future. Why you may ask.... Here's the latest (and it won't be the last reason) because a Sausage War is being played out on both sides of 'The Channel'... EU borders shut to Blighty Bangers.

Ursula - "Ich mag das englische Schweinefleisch nicht"

Albert -"Then you've never been to 'PorkShire' my luv. There's enough chairs and chipolatas for everyone. Listen....Wi don't need to argue over sausage...wi can still be chums... don't be morngy.

As Tommy Atkins and family are forced to holiday in UK and the crowds start to invade the 'Dales of the Shire' ya Uncle Albert stays home and leaves the cheap package brigade to float on rubber dinghies in the River Wharfe, block the roads with bad parking and driving with all the care and attention to take out a cyclist or two Phuffff.....Open up Costa del drinky I can'na takes na more!!!!! Well I can really, I've been making a special competition part for the Blauwe Muis..

A bash plate. Having heard that some of Flanders Fields isn't flat but liable to contain a few rocks and maybe a small hillock I thought sump protection maybe a good idea. My stock of metal is varied to say the least and not intensive. Do happen to have a rather large slap of 3mm stainless plate. Bonus, it looks like it's the right size near as damn it. Not only would this stand the seismic shock of being rammed at speed into a hidden boulder but cor blimey  it would be very blingy.... The Old Sidevalve Bar does not have the tooling to bend such a mighty thickness so sly creasing grooves inserted with a cutting disc on the back to ease the process were required. I'll weld the folds once bent. Don't at this stage have a plan...just thinking it's gonna work.

Aye, if that don't deserve an ale or 2 then we aint talking the same lingo.

Stay safe till next time...

The T.E.T. - Just got 'even more' challenging.(who mentioned fries?)

 Greetings. Albert here. Bringing jottings to those that are 'Super Wokies'. Yes, awake beyond woke and fully functioning with enough grey matter to pause facebook even for a couple of minutes and look beyond. Aye, beyond 'likes' and 'tags' and back into the mists of time. Back when news was in newspapers and men took a flask and jam sandwiches to work for lunch.....Cut thick and if lucky ya got tha' crust. I'm shaking of head and tut tuttin' to those morning snowflakies that call at McDonalds for a flat Mcwhite on the way to work....F.F.S. 'Ain't ya got a kettle, cup and a splash of milk in ya house?

Anyway....Whats happening in The 'Shire' you may well ask. Aye, life as we know it Jim is on daily repeat. Covid19 variants are on the rise. Huh, how come Jim? 'Well 'cos we're an island we keep our borders open......Come on in!!! Come on in!!!!..No checks...we love Covid19.....no discrimination on variants....all welcome.......

One day though it will all be over and ya Uncle Albert will set off on his quest to ride part of the T.E.T.. Maybe sooner possibly later but as I write these words my preperation hasn't slackened. Gotta be ready for the getgo. (and hopefully the mud and rocks)

So, I've been cleaning and greasing another small part of  'The Blauwe Muis. Not a part that makes young wenches go weak at the knees when they see it but an important part of any motorcyclists journey. Underated till ya without such a thing then ya proper would wish ya had one. No, not a gallon of petrol but equally important. A centre stand !!!! Where would thee be without a motorcycle centre stand. Well, ya'd be looking for a friendly tree or ya'd have to hold on ta ya machine whilst ya mate goes int'a chip shop ta get yurs. Wot will it be? Once wi scraps and a squirt o' finest malt vinegar please missus 'n' I'll 'ave um ta eat now. 

(A gallon?  = Old Blighty Imperial measurement = 4.5ltrs)

The Blauwe Muis centre stand had been neglected, time for a thorough fettle. 

 Steel fittings badly rusted and alloy casting covered in a layer of sticky mineral oil. Using a small quantity of my Bio De-rusting mixture to soak the rusty parts in for a few days gave good results. These were then sprayed with several hits of rattle-can clear coat. Yep, not gonna last for ever but hey we ain't creating a trailer queen, this is a T.E.T. attacker, built in the spririt of the late 60's early 70's I.S.D.T.s The casting was washed in solvent then given a good buzzin in the sonic bath. Last job before assembly I fit 2 x grease nipples to help force lubrication onto the pivot shaft after a hard day on the trail. Remember- a greased sidestand is a happy working sidestand, and a working sidestand means no missed friteries whilst on the trail. Win-Win.

Here's a question - How many of you have seen fries stabbed to death in a Friterie? Let me tell you once seen can't be unseen....stuck with the sight for life. My first stabbing experience took place at N18, Steegstraat 107, 2490 Balen. The year 2009.  Blimey, a huge wrapping of fries savagely attacked in front of a shop full of customers. The locals seemed ok with the violence, shock horror for a guy from 'The Shire'.  Steam pouring out of the slashes.. It worked though, not a soggy one amongst 'um when taken back to base.... 

Mayo? 

Note to self - check fries carry capacity of Blauwe Muis.

The T.E.T. - Just got more challenging.

 Greetings. Alb here. Triple locked down but still of sound mind and body. ‘VUI – 202012/01’is now lapping at the door of 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'. I ain't taking no chances so I've stuffed newspaper in all the cracks and keyholes. Glad to report for now that seems to be keeping the mutant at bay. 

If life wasn't tough enough the challenge to ride the T.E.T. has taken on another dimension. What do hungry T.E.T.ers eat whilst riping through the endless miles of Flanders mud?  Having been brought up on Yorkshireshire 'power-foods' I was expecting to take some in my waxed Barbour jacket pockets. (Last thing you need when out in the wilds is a change of diet causing a loose bowel....and furz in den lederhosen)

Pocket snacks-

Guiseley Growlers - Tony Woods Butchers.

Wensleydale Cheese.-If ever a cheese was designed for men on a mans mission this is it! Best balanced on a Jacobs cracker with an accompanying pickled onion or a goodly wedge on rich fruit cake.

But what's this????? Teddies thrown out of the cot!!!!! Dutch and French wearing large Brexit hats!!!!

Confiscating wholesome scran? Eeee cor blooming blimey!!!!We're banned....along wi' us sarnies.

"No..everything is confiscated"....             Phuff.....Even the brot?

Hey guys...I'm getting mi machine ready and I'm coming....No worries. 

Till next time - stay safe and keep the old flag flying and the Homebrew flowing.

Full on into repair mode.4

 It's 2021. A new year...A clean start..?????  Don't want to be Mr Glum but if you guys are expecting the world to suddenly start behaving and all humanity be saved from all the self inflicted wrongs then "Oh dear!!!!! Not gonna happen...!"

But not all is lost, pull ya chair nearer the fire, pour ya'sen a large glass of Barley wine and rejoice that within 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' normality has always been normal. No change and no charge. You still have a free digital link to a small place in The Shire where 'Old Shite' can find a home and old guys talk sense, move around on legs, think with own brain...and try doing the impossible despite the aging process.....Yep, ya Uncle Albert still fights to free peeps from the power of the matrix. Battling against  G5, 'Just Eat' app, meerkat.com., Mc Donalds "click and serve", Costa Coffee delivery by Uber.  Stop!!!! F.F.S.!!! Some of ya are destined to be couch potatoes....    sink deeper into the sofa, forget about Vintafaking.  Chicken nuggets are your destiny. I can't save ya all.......

Ah, good. Ya still here. Interested in the progress of Blauwe Muis? I've finished restoring the saddle. It's had several coats of 'chassis black' I do like this paint.  Available from a local paint manufacturer.  Cost about £8 a ltr and brushes on a treat. I'm not one to make a habit of looking under saddles or even collecting photographs of the same but here's mine. Thick and glossy - 'Shining like sixpence up a sweeps backside'
Good for another 40 years...

Keep the faith - Avoid VUI 202012/01 - Beware of  'The Krankie'