Re-creating I.S.D.T. Incentives for the 'Pecker'..1970 Eastern Block Style..

 

 Greetings blog viewers....A.C. here, your living Vintafake fountain. Aye, I've held back on claiming that I am a fountain splurting interesting techi and hipster facts...just happy to be splurting anything, and why not?

So, what's buzzin' in the world? What's gonna set this blog into the universal digital window of time and place?

tIME??? Hang oN..coR BliMey mi' cap Lock iS malfunctionINg.......CTR. ALT. REBOOT..

Crikey, that was close...Nearly got transfered to TikTock!. Back on line and in control - Time? Date? Year?  It's soon going to be Charlie's Coronation, get thi' buntin out Posh! And bake a quiche for the Big Lunch. Find official Buck House recipe as an addendum. (Note how I didn't mention Skirtlands Crankie in the time datestamp, yes, she's the one that should be heading straight for the clink due to a dubious motorhome purchase. Throw tha' key away on the celtic hen!)

Never heed jock!! Lit's git back ta' the important dram. International Six Day Trials late 60's early 70's. How come the guys from the Eastern Block were winning more often than thi' chaps from Blighty? Hey, I'll tell ya why. Cos they got treats along thi route. Aye, proper had an secret edge to revive tha'pecker inst' muddy woods and slippy tracks. Hang on...Hang on Alb what's tha saying? 

Right, let me explain. If you were away from ya homely comforts for the week. Whatever they may be.....red hot chicks if ya in ya 20's....maybe a steak 'n' kidney puddin' if ya in ya 50's.(Wi' suet crust) Not likely riding in ya' 60's but in case it would be a few malty beers (none of ya new wave citrus aussie bollocks). ok? so, how did a Czech motorcyclist's pecker get tittilated? Money buys it! Surely didn't expect tha' local wenches ta be throwin' tha' sen in front of the bikes did ya without reward?

But gettin' the money through scrutineering? Surely not allowed to be carrying favour vouchers? That's why on 1970's CZ motorsickles the engine side casing is cavinous. For storing tha' coinage!!!!!..Loose change talks!!!!

Your Uncle Albert is going to recreate the very money hidey hole in readiness for the Blauwe Muis attack on the T.E.T. Why should I miss out?. Decided to carry the very amount that did the job in 1973 I've got missen a 5 Korun of the correct minted year to match Blauwe Muis. Let's get to work and make sure František Šťastný our works rider has all the help he can get......

First. I removed the auto oil lube pump. Wasn't going to use it anyway as I'll be burning the old racing favourite Castrol R as a pre-mix. The hole wherst the pump used to be needs blocking off. Using aluminium sourced from government stock a suitable plate was turned on the lathe. Crikey!! Blinded by the bling and it's only half done.

How much should we allow our man to carry in loose change? Good question! To much money may result in a very tiring night with 'Plácnutí Lola-Lola in the Navstevnicke centrum Srni, best just allow enough for a quick 'Hows ya Father' and let our man Frantisek get straight back to the Official Park Ferme and make sure no-one sabotages his needle jet. 

Think 5 Korun is plenty. In 2023 a Korun is worth £0.38p. That's enough surely? 

Old skool gasket...made from the outer wrapping of last Fridays ready meal. Reet grand it wa' too.

Ssshhh secret.

 So, let's celebrate with our new king...poor lad's waiting long enough for a go...Coronation Time!!

Blaaaah..Blaaaah...get them Heralds a trumpeting... and woe betide yonder choir boys if theres any muckin' abart wi' yellow ballons seen near the pulpit!!!

Might be plenty of 'Trumping' though, tha' Coronation Quiche has a broad bean filling...Phhufff!

'The Royal Quiche' below for those that wanna risk it!!!   Phhufff!....Blimey, Phhufff!!! Whoops!

 Ingredients 

Pastry

• 125g plain flour
• Pinch of salt
• 25g cold butter, diced
• 25g lard
• 2 tablespoons milk
• Or 1 x 250g block of ready-made shortcrust pastry

 Filling

• 125ml milk
• 175ml double cream
• 2 medium eggs
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon, 
• Salt and pepper
• 100g grated cheddar cheese,
• 180g cooked spinach, lightly chopped
• 60g cooked broad beans or soya beans

 Method

1. To make the pastry…
   1. Sieve the flour and salt into a bowl; add the fats and rub the mixture together using your finger tips until you get a sandy, breadcrumb like texture.
   2. Add the milk a little at a time and bring the ingredients together into a dough.
   3. Cover and allow to rest in the fridge for 30-45 minutes
2. Lightly flour the work surface and roll out the pastry to a circle a little larger than the top of the tin and approximately 5mm thick.
3. Line the tin with the pastry, taking care not to have any holes or the mixture could leak. Cover and rest for a further 30 minutes in the fridge.
4. Preheat the oven to 190°C.
5. Line the pastry case with greaseproof paper, add baking beans and bake blind for 15 minutes, before removing the greaseproof paper and baking beans.
6. Reduce the oven temperature to 160°C.
7. Beat together the milk, cream, eggs, herbs and seasoning.
8. Scatter 1/2 of the grated cheese in the blind-baked base, top with the chopped spinach and beans and herbs, then pour over the liquid mixture.
9. If required gently give the mixture a delicate stir to ensure the filling is evenly dispersed but be careful not to damage the pastry case.
10. Sprinkle over the remaining cheese. Place into the oven and bake for 20-25 minutes until set and lightly golden.

Aye, Posh!!! pour me a royal flagon of the Celebratory Brew Dog...Cheers Peeps, Bless the King and all who sail in him!

Competition Fabricating No2a-Part2

 'Tis been almost a year since your Uncle Albert posted on the Blauwe Muis T.E.T. Blog. Dunno why...but I'm still 'ere.....Chances of getting across the choppy seas to the empire of the Franks without hitches and deliberately created queues at 'Third Country' passport controls after EU divorce is slim. Oui, Monsieur Thibaut est au controle des passports et est tres francais et ralentit l'anglais voyageant pour voir des amis. But one day even Mr Franceland will grow tired of being an arse.

Despite this border dither and delay progress on fabricating the essential competition spec parts has continued, and some are even completed. Crikey!! The power inducing exhaust system is done for a start. here's the grande finale..

I'd fabricated the spark arrestor only as a visitors goodwill gesture. The reason being to make sure that Flanders Fields didn't go up in an almight blaze due to stray red hot carbon clinkers shooting out the Blauwe Muis exhaust pipe rear into the long grass when goodly amounts of throttle are applied. Aye, that Castrol R infused petrol not only gives grand smelling smoke but can as the saying goes 'Blaze a trail'.

1st world problem... Isn't exhaust packing expensive? Usually packing purchased from motorcycle outlets is nothing more than fibre wadding. The very same wadding that insulates roofs in UK. Unfortunately for your Uncle Albert most of the roof insulation in his abode has been taken for other exhaust projects over the years. But by chance, a small bit of luck still remains, 'cos in stock at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' is a large roll of canoe making fibreglass. Oh yes !! Come on down!!!! Shame about the spiders being made homeless as I unravel to inspect but I need some now.....

'Clip 'n' roll', then 'Ram it in'.  Proper Yorkshireshireshire stuffing...

 Oh tha' looks sweet all rite. 

Flagon time....Tonites recommended ale in celebration of 'Job done' is Seven Bro7hers 'Sling it out Stout' which if you chose to read the small label is brewed from Coco Pops... Aye Posh, pour mi a choccie one...wi' plenty of frothy head.

Tasting Notes...A chocolate stout brewed using upcycled Kellogg's® Coco Pops® provided as a part of their sustainability programme.
Base malt, chocolate malt, caramel malt and of course Kellogg's® Coco Pops® make up the backbone of this thick, sweet and chocolatey stout. All these malts are mashed in at a high temperature to capture the sweetness and texture of the grain.

 

 

Competition Fabricating No2a-Part1

 Albert here..!!! Yep, still alive..!!! What's the buzz..??? You may well ask 'cos there's been plenty since I last posted. Let's just quickly recap on the world outside The 'Old Sidevalve Bar'. Brexit arguments about shrimps and sausage with VdL are long forgotten (but probably not resolved)as my route to the T.E.T. just become yet more difficult. No Channel Ferries!!! All moored at port with engines off!  P&O sacked all the UK chaps!! Replacing with Filipeno oarsmen that appreciate the lash and only the occassional coin to spend.  Bollocks to P&O !     Covid19? Dunno....no news updates on daily infections...so it must be ok?..ignorance is bliss......get back to work ya lazy tossers!! The Covid party is over!

Despite the price of electricity doubling I've still been using power tools....and welders....and lathe... Gonna make the Blauwe Muis a muffler to fit the end of the 'power pipe'. Maybe it will cut noise and arrest sparks (the later which could set the whole of Flanders alight if the grass is dry...eeeekkkk!) My original plan being to use the old  Yamaha TY250 mono muffler I had in stock but changed mi mind. 

A short piece of 63mm stainless tubing was purchased on line. End plates were cut from 3mm stainless government stock and the pipe entry and exit were from made from the power pipe off-cuts. Much welding and grinding was to follow.

That's the muffler outers complete. Need to get back 'on line' and get mi'self some perforated stainless tube now to run through the inside.   Keep tuned for more muffler action.

In the meantime 'Stay safe' ....and keep those sparks down..

Competition Fabricating No3-Part2

 Greetings from 'The Shireshire of York' It is 'I'..., Albert, tip tapping once again on the old keyboard to bring more news on the 'Handlebar Timepiece' A recreation of what would have been the best option possible in 1973 to make sure ya got to the Checkpoint Charlies in time for lunch. Of course also used by the Czechoslovacian Six Day Triallers to good advantage ensuring they arrived at the evenings parc ferme' first to pick the best beds for the night. 

Hang on....Latest Covid update...Lost count of the variants manifesting weekly....loosing count of the booster jabs I've had.........Frenchies shut their borders to visitors from Blighty..(.Fook um..I'd only be passing through anyway ).Work on the CZ T.E.T. attacker continues, one day The Blauwe Muis will rip those Flanders Fields and the smell of Castrol R accompanied by a blue haze will linger in the Butterwoods for hours after it's passed...

Looking like my Ingersoll pocket watch is a made to measure fit inside the welding regulators gauge casing. Wow! The government stock aluminium plate will provide a firm mount for the gauge casing and the clip is millimetre perfect for the handlebars...Unfortunately what appeared to be a solid rubber wheel was in fact a pretender. Only a covering of rubber on a cast inner. More searching in skips, dustbins, and dusty crevices required to find a suitable material to use that will hold the watch firm without damage. 

Seek and you will find...Indeed, tis' true.  A 10mm piece of PVC/Acetal or possibly Chinkyplassteek reared it's head and it was mine in an instance.  A genuine vintage CZ enamel lapel pin badge inlayed into the plastic with all the skill of a Fattorini jeweller gave the required provenance to prove the entire creation was authentic and from this day onwards extremely valuable.

Waterproofing? Forget 'O' rings...Silicone seals..... Micro manufacturing tolerances. If ya was there ya'd know inner tubes not only kept air inside tyres......Nay laddies, cut lengths of inner tubes are called rubber bands..    and longer ones rubber straps! Hold anything - cost nuthin'   Used by proper czech motorcycle racers not only to hold up their pants but waterproof period timepieces! Plenty more where they came from if it fails with a loud twang before flying off never to be seen again

 Cut from a genuine late 60s inner tube (I should know because it was in the front wheel of my first motorcycle) complete with original Dunlop red patches. (Confirmed because I had the punctures) A fitting piece of memorabilia from the golden age of  'make do and mend'  (when glue was glue and it stuck proper)

Lastly, If ya struggling to get a jab remember 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' employs a full time nurse.

Call round...play safe but rough!

 

Competition Fabricating No3-Part1

Tempest Fugit.....BUT!!! Hang on!!!! Not anymore, Blighty is still locked in time! Why am I still blogging the same news garbage! Because mon ami we're still falling out over a few scallops wit' Frenchies....Rumour has it they're gonna block the 'Channel Tunnel' this weekend! Fook um, forwarned is forarmed....Proper not interested. The quest to complete Blauwe Muis continues, the route to the Belgium sausage seems to be continually getting more difficult but! But! But! But! Let the frogs camp out at the tunnel....Ve hav' vays Monsieur. North Sea Ferries maybe to a more friendly Dutchman port seems more inviting and besides that a few beers and a tasty smorgasbord can be participated 'en route'.......Ship Ahoy! Cast off sailor!  Fook Pierre! Fook Hugo! and Fooook Emmanuel Jean-Michel Frédéric!!! (the little short arse from the Amiens)

Oh, ze pipe de power mon ami!!! Zit e' la' projectamon magnifique. Je reviendraique dessus apres beaucoup de bieeres mon ami.

In the meantime another competition accessory that has been in the making in tandom with 'ze pipe' is a handlebar timepiece. Those Czechoslovacians didn't win so many I.S.D.T.s without a few mod cons, and knowing when it was lunchtime and bedtime helped.

But enduro timepieces from the early 1970s? Unobtainable (almost) !!! Here's a picture of a rich guys BMW collection I found.on line.

and an earlier one for sale-   GLOBUS handlebar clock   €499.00 Tax included

Pre-war, german made handlebar clock.  Brand is Globus,  and belongs on the handlebar of your 1920-1930s BMW.  The clock is in perfect running condition, and has good patina to match the age.

 Crikey! That's an expense. Gonna make my own!  Here's the parts I've been collecting and purchasing on the Bay of E (watch and clip) to make a replica in the spirit of these wonderful accessories. 

1 x 6mm thick aluminium plate, 1 x defunct welding regulator gauge, 1 x 24hr Ingersoll pocket watch, 1 x 22mm stainless pipe clip, 1 x sheet of close cell rubber and 1 x trolley wheel made of rubber.

Keep checking in for progress reports on 'Ze Pipe Magnifique' and of course the Handlebar Timepiece replica. 

In the meantime keep away from Calais and don't buy anything un Fabriqué de Francais.

 

Competition Fabricating No2-Part4

 Oh good, ya' here for another helping of 3D action. Sausage wars are history..HURRAY!....But, Fish wars are here....big kick off in 2 days time...Boooo...(but an Agincourt Salute to the Froggies...hurray!) Covid19 variants still spreading like wildfire....Boooo....(The 'Old Sidevalve Bar' is closed to all untested and unvaccinated.....mmmm, it's the right thing to do! If ya gonna go walk around without mask Fook ya!

So, ya old Uncle Alb is working alone, Staying safe and staying 3D. I'm still aiming to ride the T.E.T. at some point in the future, or worst case leave a T.E.T. attacker for next of kin.

Cones, thats my focus. Stainless cones that attach to the china expansion chamber to be precise. Made from off cut tube without any C.A.D. templates or rolling machinery. Yes, it's a challenge so as far as I'm concerned a bit of wonky here and there is gonna be expected. Let's do it!

Hey...Bling with added Hendersons!  Long live The Shire' and all who appreciate it.

Still more to do so keep looking in and waving those 2 fingers....

Competition Fabricating No2-Part3

 'Tis I'!!!  Back again....update part 3 of the T.E.T. competition exhaust with added Mr Grumpy ramblings. Nay, mark my words dear friends I'm no old stick 'n mud, but as an approved blogger prophet writing prophecies for the Vintafake Brotherhood be aware w'at be w'itten here first will certainly come to pass. (A prophecy (noun) is a prediction issued by a prophet.) Hail don't be part of the world social decline I ask you, build a shed, try talking face to face wi ya chums and do summat wi what ya was born wi' Aye! Ya mind and hands, stop sitting on ya fat arses with a gob full of Greggs trans fats!!!!!

Tell ya what....I know I'm beating a lonely furrow wi' the Covid warnings......Last year 18th Oct daily infections 16,225..This year 18th Oct 42,123....  WAKE UP PEEPS!!! The pandemic is slowly but surely killing the human race. What will speed up the distruction and save ya all the bother of queuing to get ya winter booster jabs is that Fookin' lunatic Mark Zuckerberg taking on 10,000 peeps within the E.U. to promote and mould 'The Metaverse' in his vision.  For crying out loud!!!! The future? Is this what ya want?

Here in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' where everything you see is in living 3D with real smells, touchy feely tools and seasonal temperature changes reality can be what you make it....Don't need the T.V.goggles cos I'm preparing to be the last man standing in reality. 

The 3D real life stainless race exhaust system is continuing along it's constructional route. Must tell ya, I'm feeling rich internal fulfilment at the moment (or even possibly 'stoked') from finishing the modifications that made an ebay purchased spurious stainless bend into a bespoke stainless bend. 'Yorkshireshireshire shed made 'n' bloody don't forget it! T.E.T. Here I come!!!

A 45 deg bend of the same diameter was duly ordered from the same supplier. A small off-cut trimmed from the first bend off-cut (Huh?) made ain insert to hold the 2 x bends while I 'Splatter MIG Welded' them together. Much of the usual grinding, filing, sanding, polishing and buffing pursued until 2 x bends were melded as one.

Next job in my 3D world of life is to fabricate the expansion entry cone. Enter stage left another piece of bend off-cut. Cut and spread to suit. 'Splatter MIG' all joints and slits before handworking into submissive bling. 

The 'Shire is alive' !!! I mean dirty and sweaty alive!!! Long may it remain so.. 

Stay tuned, stay analogue, and resist Zuckerberg.  Catch ya' next time.