Competition Fabricating No2a-Part1

 Albert here..!!! Yep, still alive..!!! What's the buzz..??? You may well ask 'cos there's been plenty since I last posted. Let's just quickly recap on the world outside The 'Old Sidevalve Bar'. Brexit arguments about shrimps and sausage with VdL are long forgotten (but probably not resolved)as my route to the T.E.T. just become yet more difficult. No Channel Ferries!!! All moored at port with engines off!  P&O sacked all the UK chaps!! Replacing with Filipeno oarsmen that appreciate the lash and only the occassional coin to spend.  Bollocks to P&O !     Covid19? Dunno....no news updates on daily infections...so it must be ok?..ignorance is bliss......get back to work ya lazy tossers!! The Covid party is over!

Despite the price of electricity doubling I've still been using power tools....and welders....and lathe... Gonna make the Blauwe Muis a muffler to fit the end of the 'power pipe'. Maybe it will cut noise and arrest sparks (the later which could set the whole of Flanders alight if the grass is dry...eeeekkkk!) My original plan being to use the old  Yamaha TY250 mono muffler I had in stock but changed mi mind. 

A short piece of 63mm stainless tubing was purchased on line. End plates were cut from 3mm stainless government stock and the pipe entry and exit were from made from the power pipe off-cuts. Much welding and grinding was to follow.

That's the muffler outers complete. Need to get back 'on line' and get mi'self some perforated stainless tube now to run through the inside.   Keep tuned for more muffler action.

In the meantime 'Stay safe' ....and keep those sparks down..

Competition Fabricating No3-Part2

 Greetings from 'The Shireshire of York' It is 'I'..., Albert, tip tapping once again on the old keyboard to bring more news on the 'Handlebar Timepiece' A recreation of what would have been the best option possible in 1973 to make sure ya got to the Checkpoint Charlies in time for lunch. Of course also used by the Czechoslovacian Six Day Triallers to good advantage ensuring they arrived at the evenings parc ferme' first to pick the best beds for the night. 

Hang on....Latest Covid update...Lost count of the variants manifesting weekly....loosing count of the booster jabs I've had.........Frenchies shut their borders to visitors from Blighty..(.Fook um..I'd only be passing through anyway ).Work on the CZ T.E.T. attacker continues, one day The Blauwe Muis will rip those Flanders Fields and the smell of Castrol R accompanied by a blue haze will linger in the Butterwoods for hours after it's passed...

Looking like my Ingersoll pocket watch is a made to measure fit inside the welding regulators gauge casing. Wow! The government stock aluminium plate will provide a firm mount for the gauge casing and the clip is millimetre perfect for the handlebars...Unfortunately what appeared to be a solid rubber wheel was in fact a pretender. Only a covering of rubber on a cast inner. More searching in skips, dustbins, and dusty crevices required to find a suitable material to use that will hold the watch firm without damage. 

Seek and you will find...Indeed, tis' true.  A 10mm piece of PVC/Acetal or possibly Chinkyplassteek reared it's head and it was mine in an instance.  A genuine vintage CZ enamel lapel pin badge inlayed into the plastic with all the skill of a Fattorini jeweller gave the required provenance to prove the entire creation was authentic and from this day onwards extremely valuable.

Waterproofing? Forget 'O' rings...Silicone seals..... Micro manufacturing tolerances. If ya was there ya'd know inner tubes not only kept air inside tyres......Nay laddies, cut lengths of inner tubes are called rubber bands..    and longer ones rubber straps! Hold anything - cost nuthin'   Used by proper czech motorcycle racers not only to hold up their pants but waterproof period timepieces! Plenty more where they came from if it fails with a loud twang before flying off never to be seen again

 Cut from a genuine late 60s inner tube (I should know because it was in the front wheel of my first motorcycle) complete with original Dunlop red patches. (Confirmed because I had the punctures) A fitting piece of memorabilia from the golden age of  'make do and mend'  (when glue was glue and it stuck proper)

Lastly, If ya struggling to get a jab remember 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' employs a full time nurse.

Call round...play safe but rough!

 

Competition Fabricating No3-Part1

Tempest Fugit.....BUT!!! Hang on!!!! Not anymore, Blighty is still locked in time! Why am I still blogging the same news garbage! Because mon ami we're still falling out over a few scallops wit' Frenchies....Rumour has it they're gonna block the 'Channel Tunnel' this weekend! Fook um, forwarned is forarmed....Proper not interested. The quest to complete Blauwe Muis continues, the route to the Belgium sausage seems to be continually getting more difficult but! But! But! But! Let the frogs camp out at the tunnel....Ve hav' vays Monsieur. North Sea Ferries maybe to a more friendly Dutchman port seems more inviting and besides that a few beers and a tasty smorgasbord can be participated 'en route'.......Ship Ahoy! Cast off sailor!  Fook Pierre! Fook Hugo! and Fooook Emmanuel Jean-Michel Frédéric!!! (the little short arse from the Amiens)

Oh, ze pipe de power mon ami!!! Zit e' la' projectamon magnifique. Je reviendraique dessus apres beaucoup de bieeres mon ami.

In the meantime another competition accessory that has been in the making in tandom with 'ze pipe' is a handlebar timepiece. Those Czechoslovacians didn't win so many I.S.D.T.s without a few mod cons, and knowing when it was lunchtime and bedtime helped.

But enduro timepieces from the early 1970s? Unobtainable (almost) !!! Here's a picture of a rich guys BMW collection I found.on line.

and an earlier one for sale-   GLOBUS handlebar clock   €499.00 Tax included

Pre-war, german made handlebar clock.  Brand is Globus,  and belongs on the handlebar of your 1920-1930s BMW.  The clock is in perfect running condition, and has good patina to match the age.

 Crikey! That's an expense. Gonna make my own!  Here's the parts I've been collecting and purchasing on the Bay of E (watch and clip) to make a replica in the spirit of these wonderful accessories. 

1 x 6mm thick aluminium plate, 1 x defunct welding regulator gauge, 1 x 24hr Ingersoll pocket watch, 1 x 22mm stainless pipe clip, 1 x sheet of close cell rubber and 1 x trolley wheel made of rubber.

Keep checking in for progress reports on 'Ze Pipe Magnifique' and of course the Handlebar Timepiece replica. 

In the meantime keep away from Calais and don't buy anything un Fabriqué de Francais.

 

Competition Fabricating No2-Part4

 Oh good, ya' here for another helping of 3D action. Sausage wars are history..HURRAY!....But, Fish wars are here....big kick off in 2 days time...Boooo...(but an Agincourt Salute to the Froggies...hurray!) Covid19 variants still spreading like wildfire....Boooo....(The 'Old Sidevalve Bar' is closed to all untested and unvaccinated.....mmmm, it's the right thing to do! If ya gonna go walk around without mask Fook ya!

So, ya old Uncle Alb is working alone, Staying safe and staying 3D. I'm still aiming to ride the T.E.T. at some point in the future, or worst case leave a T.E.T. attacker for next of kin.

Cones, thats my focus. Stainless cones that attach to the china expansion chamber to be precise. Made from off cut tube without any C.A.D. templates or rolling machinery. Yes, it's a challenge so as far as I'm concerned a bit of wonky here and there is gonna be expected. Let's do it!

Hey...Bling with added Hendersons!  Long live The Shire' and all who appreciate it.

Still more to do so keep looking in and waving those 2 fingers....

Competition Fabricating No2-Part3

 'Tis I'!!!  Back again....update part 3 of the T.E.T. competition exhaust with added Mr Grumpy ramblings. Nay, mark my words dear friends I'm no old stick 'n mud, but as an approved blogger prophet writing prophecies for the Vintafake Brotherhood be aware w'at be w'itten here first will certainly come to pass. (A prophecy (noun) is a prediction issued by a prophet.) Hail don't be part of the world social decline I ask you, build a shed, try talking face to face wi ya chums and do summat wi what ya was born wi' Aye! Ya mind and hands, stop sitting on ya fat arses with a gob full of Greggs trans fats!!!!!

Tell ya what....I know I'm beating a lonely furrow wi' the Covid warnings......Last year 18th Oct daily infections 16,225..This year 18th Oct 42,123....  WAKE UP PEEPS!!! The pandemic is slowly but surely killing the human race. What will speed up the distruction and save ya all the bother of queuing to get ya winter booster jabs is that Fookin' lunatic Mark Zuckerberg taking on 10,000 peeps within the E.U. to promote and mould 'The Metaverse' in his vision.  For crying out loud!!!! The future? Is this what ya want?

Here in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' where everything you see is in living 3D with real smells, touchy feely tools and seasonal temperature changes reality can be what you make it....Don't need the T.V.goggles cos I'm preparing to be the last man standing in reality. 

The 3D real life stainless race exhaust system is continuing along it's constructional route. Must tell ya, I'm feeling rich internal fulfilment at the moment (or even possibly 'stoked') from finishing the modifications that made an ebay purchased spurious stainless bend into a bespoke stainless bend. 'Yorkshireshireshire shed made 'n' bloody don't forget it! T.E.T. Here I come!!!

A 45 deg bend of the same diameter was duly ordered from the same supplier. A small off-cut trimmed from the first bend off-cut (Huh?) made ain insert to hold the 2 x bends while I 'Splatter MIG Welded' them together. Much of the usual grinding, filing, sanding, polishing and buffing pursued until 2 x bends were melded as one.

Next job in my 3D world of life is to fabricate the expansion entry cone. Enter stage left another piece of bend off-cut. Cut and spread to suit. 'Splatter MIG' all joints and slits before handworking into submissive bling. 

The 'Shire is alive' !!! I mean dirty and sweaty alive!!! Long may it remain so.. 

Stay tuned, stay analogue, and resist Zuckerberg.  Catch ya' next time.

 

Competition Fabricating No2-Part2

 Greetings. Whats buzzin in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'? You may ask my EU sausage loving friends because Boris (well known for his own sausage activity in 10 Downing St) is trying best he can to get supplies across the channel and into your countries. Your part if you want these mouth watering meaty delights is to keep the Russian gas turned on and pumping our way and stop siding with the Frenchies on a bit of a lost submarine deal... and don't mention the fish!!!

Covid19......only 1000+ deaths this past week......... at that rate getting the Blauwe Muis into a Flanders Field before the Grim Reaper comes knocking on my door is stacking more odds for it happening every day that passes..

Keep going Alb......Don't be blubbering and letting politics and the state of the N.H.S. affect your Vintafaking mojo!!!.

Oh yes, the race exhaust. So, the technical detail is as follows for the first bend. I have to make it fit the cylinder exhaust port flange that is 43.80mm external and 41.00mm internal. My purchase bend is 41.00mm external and 39.5mm internal. A small stretch with my newly ordered ebay expander and it will slip on/in like a glove? Bought it more than long enough as I thought the off-cuts could be useful later?

 

Whoa !!! Hang on !!! Mr Koen from Oilyracer base camp is soon on the trans-channel wireless. 'Alb old chap, there's nuffin but bad press regarding the chinese expanders...Made of chinkisteel they are. Not enough strength to expand a balloon.. 

Now what?. I'm gonna make some slash cuts in the bend, hopefully stretch the slashes wider and fill in with Stainless Mig weld..  Then re-work it till it never happened... It's an idea, stay tuned.

 

Well? It is welded! 

 Inside and out!!!!

 

Risking 'White Finger' - But gonna be worth it! Aren't de-burring bits brilliant!!

Hey this is looking like it could work but don't get giddy yet. There's a long way to go and if those Frenchies turn our electric and gas power off (fish war threat over a few shrimps) the welding and grinding will come to an abrupt halt. Who'd have thought politics could Top Trump 'Vintafaking' ?

C'est l'heure d'une homebrew beere. De bas en haut mon ami. 

Stand up for ya rights - Et le Camembert nous le repandre sur la Jacob cracker

So, Stay tuned for more 'Vinafaking' action et le Franglais parlez.  

Vive le 'Sidevalve Bar and all who drink in it!

Competition Fabricating No2-Part1

 Greetings...Alb here, What's buzzin' you may well ask! Right here goes..For starters I haven't heard anything more about the Brexit Sausage War lately. Maybe it's been silently resolved?  Aye, sounds about reet. Stealth sausage agreement. Blighty can now only export 'Linda McCartney quorn options.. What about Covid19? Well....the meme here in Blighty seems to be, 'Get Jabbed and then its 'Mingletastic-time'... Get down to 'Spoons' take a few deep breaths and see if the vaccine has really created immortality.  Hang on!!  Here in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' a rather more cautious approach is operating. Very small mingles, then at least 2-3 weeks self isolation before considering another small mingle. ... Big mingles out of the question!!!!! (and only Old English Pork Bangers in the breakfast buttie)

Self isolation - Best done in a shed is my recommendation. Doing it in the company of a CZ has got to be one of lifes bestest experiences.

Here goes then - Gonna make me another special competition part. A high level exhaust. Last thing I need when squirting this lively Blauwe Muis motorcycle through the muddy fields of Flanders is to rip the muffler off by getting tangled in a patch of nettles..

Purchased from China via ebay a  'Motorcycle 45mm I.D. Exhaust pipe Muffler Silencer Expansion DB Killer Chamber. "Holy Dookin massive power increase Batman!" What can possibly go wrong?

Here's a couple of diagrams from the advertisement showing the dimensions and 'Working Scrinciple'    

'Working Scrinciple?'  Velly velly vell design givee maxeee revee when fitee honourable C.Z.eeee. The 45mm dia inlet and outlet was as near a match to the C.Z. pipe size of 42mm I could get.

Second purchase was a 304 stainless bend - 41.3mm OD X 1.5mm wall x 61.9mm (1.5D) CLR This also from ebay but UK supplier 'Tubebender'  The size again was as near to the C.Z. original front pipe diameter as I could find. I did also spot on the afore mentioned Ebay an 'Exhaust Pipe Expander' Yowzah!!! How timely, just as I need one, there it is available for good pricey...£18!!! All in inc post. Like a gift from the gods. Buy! Buy! Buy it now!!!!

So lets have a small interlude as many parcels of vital race components start heading towards 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' from all corners of the globe. Whilst they do, it's time for an official beer break....as many as ya like 'cos the postman may be some days.

Post Brexit EU option -  Plant based Sausage with additional 'Garlic Skins' and 'Vine Stalks' anybody? 

 

Just joking -   Stay safe- Help out - Only eat the meaty ones.